July 30, 2014

5ish things.

1. I've been huffing nasal spray for the past week, and let me tell you, it's working. I still have sinus pressure (that's just my life until I get a nose job) (no, really) but I am breathing easier and not coughing as much. So, Flonase for the win.

2a. Last weekend, Kelsey and I spent 4 hours driving around, trying to find Coke bottles with specific names on them. We went to 22 places. We were looking for the names of The Avett Brothers band members (long live having limited interests). We found 4 out of 6, along with bottles that have our names on them. Well, mine is spelled with a 'y', but I'm more than used to that bullshit by this point in my life. We're still missing Seth and Bobby. YES, Bobby. But don't worry, if you're looking for Juan or Angel, I've seen a few of them.

2b. Taking limited interests to a whole new level, Kelsey had the idea of creating Flat Stanley versions of the band's drummer (Mike Marsh) and keyboard player (Paul Defiglia). So, that's what we did. We also created Twitter and Instagram accounts, and were followed by the real Mike and Paul within a few days of posting. BASICALLY, WE'RE FAMOUS. Not really, but we're hoping to meet up with the guys so they can take a picture with their flats. The handle is @flatmikeandpaul if you want to follow along.

3. I really need to pack for this trip. ~~curls up into a ball~~

4. Two nights ago I had a gin and tonic, and a handful of cheese balls, for dinner. I'M AN ADULT, I swear. I tried to get people to bring me dinner, but it didn't work. So, in the words of Kelsey: "I made the best of it."

5. So, I was offered a new job, and I accepted it. I don't talk about work very much on here (unless I'm bitching, amiright?) but I'm excited about this. It's a marketing position for a larger organization in the area. It's also just a little bit closer to my house, which is always nice. We shall see!

July 29, 2014

Too Much.

This vlog is proof that I will literally do anything to avoid what I actually should be doing. In this case, I should have been packing. Sorry for the extreme close ups -- I filmed it on my computer, since my camera was dead.

Okay, bye.


July 25, 2014

My Week in Tom Haverford Gifs

Sunday Morning: This is insanely accurate.

Monday Morning: Didn't have to work, so I slept in a little bit.

Tuesday Afternoon: Me, to my cold, on the way to my doctor's appointment.

Tuesday Night: Ice cream for dinner?

Wednesday Morning: Kelsey invited me to dinner and I had to wait 8 hours to go to my favorite place.

Thursday Morning: Had a work meeting with a bunch of old men who loved me.

Thursday Night: Impromptu porch hang with Kelsey('s dad).

Friday: Kelsey and I have hecka planning to do, because we leave in ONE WEEK!

July 24, 2014

It's Wednesday night, baby...

For the past few weeks, Wednesday nights have been good to me. It's typically my night off from spin, and as much as I wouldn't mind spending my time home, sans underwear and shame, I'm glad that I've opted to go out and do things instead.

Last night, myself, Kelsey, and our friend, Morgan, went to dinner and movie. We ate at Spot Coffee, which we refer to as "The Spot" because we're fucking cool. It's my favorite place to go in Saratoga, so please, don't go there and ruin it for me, okay? Just don't. Unless I'm with you, of course. Other than that, it is my favorite place to troll alone, and if I saw anyone I knew there, I'd be forced to light the place on fire.

I'll stop there.

After dinner, we went to see Begin Again, which I had never heard of, but Googled yesterday afternoon and decided it looked good. And it was. A little strange, but good. And maybe I spent 90 minutes thinking about what it would be like to run my fingers through Mark Ruffalo's hair, or maybe I didn't. But I did, so.

Two things happened at the theater that made me the happiest person alive:

1. I was ID'd. Yes, at almost 28 years of age, I was asked for my ID in order to purchase a ticket for an R-rated movie. "You look 22." - a lot of people, to me. But under the age of 17? That's comical. However, I immediately turned in a 50-year-old woman, who was just asked to show ID to purchase alcohol. "Of course you can see my ID, honey!" Then the cashier took one look at my 1980's birthday and was all, "Oh, Jesus, you're fine." whatadick.

2. I went over to the concession stand to buy a foundation drink (because foundation drinks 4 lyfe) and the girl working there asked if I wanted to upgrade the size for an extra blah blah blah insert numbers here. I wasn't really paying attention, because I was trying to think of a clever tweet re: being ID'd (spoiler alert: I never did think of that tweet).

Next thing I knew, she took out a Transformers cup the side of my head and said I got to keep it (yay!) and I immediately turned to Kelsey and said, "That'd made a great cup speaker!" because we're poor resourceful and have been known to sit on my deck, with our cell phones in cups, listening to music. Anyway, the girl then said to me, "You don't have a preference to whether you have a Bumblebee topper or a Megatron one, do you?"

Uh, do I.

I quickly responded with, "Bumblebee, please. Megatron can suck a D." Or, maybe it was more along the lines of, "Bumblebee! YAASSSS, I LOVE BUMBLEBEE!" Who's to say, really. All I know is that I'm now the proud owner of a huge Transformers cup, that has a Bumblebee topper, which is also a keychain.

Not bad for a Wednesday night, don't you agree?

July 22, 2014

5(ish) things...again.


2a. Two words: clean eating. I just...I juuuussttt...I juuuusssstttt can't stand hearing about it. I expect it from blogs, and of course Pinterest, but now it's starting to junk up my Facebook feed. It's great that you prepared meals for the next two and a half years, but I don't need to see pictures of your boiled chicken. Consider your posts hidden.

2b. Ron Swanson gets it.

3. "So, you're a little bitch?" - Kelsey's dad, to me, 3 weeks ago...and I'm still laughing about it. I told him that my life motto is: Are you me? Then don't worry about it. I like to fly under the radar, and I hate when people ask too many questions about what's going on in my life. Let's be honest, if you haven't heard from me lately, it's because I'm trying to watch every episode of Parks and Rec before I leave for vacation in 10 days. I dream big.

4. I'm still sick. I spend 73% of my day with my head in my hands, thinking, "What was life like before this?" Dramatic, I know, but it's getting out of control. I'm exhausted because I cough all night, and I can't fall asleep. I can't take NyQuil. Or Tylenol PM. Or anything I could possibly become addicted to (again). So, I'm going to the doctor later.

5. Sometimes I joke that I'm a vegetarian by way of laziness. Meaning: I don't feel like making a proper dinner for myself, and therefore I eat green beans all the time. But the other night, I really wanted chicken (which is my meat of choice) (well, not all of the time) (wink face emoji), so I went to the store to buy one of those pre-cooked rotisserie chickens, and I burned my right index finger in the process. I don't know...the thing said, "Caution: Hot!" but of course I didn't read that until after. Now I have a burn that covers the better part of my finger, including my knuckle. And I ripped that part of the scab/burn open last night while trying to shut the window in my kitchen.

Basically what I'm saying is this: if this thing scars, I'll have a permanent reminder of what it's like to be an old 27, who is tragically alone, and who should stick to being a fake vegetarian.

July 18, 2014

My Week in Snapchats

Sunday: Not my snap, but I lol'd just the same.

Monday: Long live this joke/avoidance technique.

Tuesday: You don't get it, you're not a Brothers Riedell fan.

Wednesday (#1): Nico has a bitch attitude, but Kelsey deserved it.

Wednesday (#2): Watch this video, or never understand the joke, whatever.

Wednesday (#3): MY BAE.

Wednesday (#4): "Don't say it's over..." CROSSING MEDIUMS.

Thursday: Guest snap from Tiff that made me laugh so hard, I almost crashed my car.

Friday (early morning): THE COUNTDOWN TO AVETTCATION.

Friday (late morning): Tres busy at work, which is why this post went up late.

July 16, 2014

Then and Now

Kelsey left a snarky comment on this post yesterday. It's the second post I ever did, and I all but forgot about it. I decided to take those 25 random things that I wrote down in the late summer of 2011 and see if they are still true for the 2014 version of myself. Here we go.

1. I love anything sour. Especially lemons. 
STILL TRUE. I might have a bag of sour gummy worms in my purse. That bag might be empty.

2. I have a slight obsession with hotel phones.
Totally true. When we were in Atlantic City last month, I mentioned how much I love when other people I know are staying at the hotel, so I can call them on the hotel phone.

3. I hate voicemails.
True. They are the devil's work.

4. I have a very facetious personality.
I don't know...maybe.

5. I need a logical explanation for everything.
Who doesn't, Alissa? I hate myself for that one.

6. According to my birth date, I'm a Libra. But, I feel more like a Virgo, so I converted.
Well, I converted back, because I'm most certainly a Libra.

7. In high school I wanted to move to NYC, in college I wanted to move to Cali, now I want to move to North Carolina or South Carolina, or Georgia or Tennessee.
Let me level with you: I've never been to Tennessee. The only time I've spent in Georgia was roughly 3 hours in the Atlanta airport when I was 14. I have zero desire to live in either of those places, but I would gladly visit both. I have no idea what the hell I was talking about...but NYC or Cali? Sign me up.

8. Obviously, I'm indecisive.

9. I like giving nicknames to people.
Yes, I do. If you don't know yours, there is a reason.

10. I'm a book worm.
Uhh, yes.

11. I have a Twitter account, but don't tweet.
Lies. As I type this, I'm at 8,086 tweets.

12. I'm a certified news junkie.
Certified? Doubt that. But a news junkie, nonetheless.

13. I drink more water in one day than most people do in a week. I'm a fish.

14. Ew. I hate fish.
Also, yes. Dead or alive. Raw or cooked. Disgusting.

15. The two countries I've been to are Mexico and Canada, and I need to get out of North America pretty soon.
Yes, let's add international travel to the bucket list, shall we? Australia, preferably.

16. Ignoring people is my favorite pastime.
Pastime? It's my favorite thing to do on a daily basis.

17. I need a significant amount of alone time.

18. I fully admit that I love reality television.
Not so much anymore. I've moved on to NBC comedies and pretty much anything on HBO/AMC.

19. I hear, "You're an asshole!" A LOT.
Uh, yup.

20. Draft beer is great.
It really is.

21. I'm going to be an aunt for the first time soon.
My nephew will be 3 in October and I cried the other day when I realized that.

21 (again). Fall is my favorite time of year and Halloween is my favorite holiday.
Yes, I still love fall and Halloween. Maybe too much.

22. I love country music.

23. I also love Mumford & Sons and Adele.

24. Football is my favorite sport to watch.
Yes. Dem asses in tight pants, doe.

25. I will be 25 soon and I offically feel old.
I will be 28 soon and I officially feel untouchable.

I'm dying over the fact that I messed up and had two 21s. Numbers...pullin' tricksies on me since 1986.